I Tried a Million Times by Tracy - A place for poetry, odes and verse

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I Tried a Million Times by Tracy

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I've tried a million and one times, to hide the pain inside,
But my eyes always betray me, stained with the tears I've cried
A thousand distant memories, for a thousand distant dreams,
Never knowing yet always known, nothings ever what it seems.

An image portrayed in public, a mask to hide behind,
A futile search for happiness, where there's none for me to find,
There has to be a reason, a reason for such pain,
My mind begins to take me back, and I feel it again and again.

How I wish my past was brighter, filled with love instead of fear,
For the sadness casts a shadow, over today, right now, right here,
And it holds the reins to my future, or the future I once had,
But I don't wish to live a future, a future that's only sad.

I've prayed to god a million times, for a million different ends,
But instead of taking me in his arms, its another new day he sends,
So I try and smile through it, be the best that I can be,
But this breaking heart that I carry, is really killing me.

I can fight this cancer within me, as to live another day,
Be a mother to my children, for that's the only way,
But for just once in my whole lifetime, I've felt a love so rare,
And through sadness and confusion this love thinks I don't care.

I can say I'm sorry a thousand times, and mean each word I say,
But I can't replace the anger, that I hurt you in this way,
So I ask for your forgiveness, please try and understand,
I won't and can't replace the love, I felt when you held my hand,
So I fight to keep you near me, my heart breaking more each day,
I wish I knew how, how to love you the right way. x x x

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gave me a tightness across my chest, heartfelt. Great poem.

i feel the exact same why

Wow! Out of breath. Really, I've done did someone real bad and regret every second and it changed the way I thought about a relationship, but this, this is a new feeling. Nice poem.

its very amazingly beautiful and i love it

absolutely amazing. made me shed tears

Powerful poem about the past affecting the here and know. You take care of yourself :-)

 
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